Cover image for post 'How to quiet the negative chatter in your head?'
Published on 2/3/2023 • Caro Szabo

How to quiet the negative chatter in your head?

The biggest obstacle to any kind of transformation is the voice in your head telling you it’s impossible. So how to quiet the negative chatter in your head?

Whether you want to stop overeating, over-drinking, or start a new career, the voice in your head often says:

You’ve always been like this, you’ll always be like this. What’s the point of even trying. Nothing works anyway. Nothing’s gonna change. It's too hard. Too many efforts. Don't even know where to begin.

The voice has more power on your actions than your parents or anyone else you trust in our life!

You become frightened of change and frightened of failing. And then when maybe you’re brave enough to override the voice and go for change, the voice starts judging you, or the situation or the people around you and says things like: you're trying too hard….or…you’re not trying hard enough…

And the voice sounds so much like you that you believe it IS YOU. So you think you are telling yourself the truth.

But I promise you, the voice only tells you lies.


Because the intention of the voice, also called ego or the persona, is to keep you from changing.


Because the brain doesn’t like change.


Because the brain's main mission is to save its energy. And only use that energy to manage our vitals such as breathing, digesting and sleeping, but also to have enough energy left in the event of a real fight or flight situation.

The problem is that change is only good but it is necessary for us as humans.

So how can you quiet the negative chatter in your head?

Byron Katie says “I love my thoughts. I’m just not tempted to believe them.”

Listening to the little voice in your head is a habit. One with deep roots, survival instincts, and lots of practice of it! With desire, willingness, and intention however, any habit can be changed. 

Each time you catch the voice in your head describing or commentating on your life, I want to suggest to you to "shush" the little voice! And you start practicing a new habit: You pause and celebrate this moment of awareness! Because the simple fact that you are hearing it means that there is another part of you that's awakening to it. The you whom the narrator is narrating to!

Next, I'd like to suggest you intentionally shift your attention from your head (which is where your energy is usually focused) into your body and to invite your body to consciously relax. Focusing on breathing deeply is a great way to regain your awareness and therefore your

power over the voice. 

Remember that the reason the voice gets loud is because it's bored! By bringing back your focus and your awareness to what you are actually in the action of doing, even just deep breathing, you are staying out of "unconsciousness", which inevitably will quiet the voice in your head!

Choose to tell yourself a new narrative. A narrative that is now serving you. For example: "I am proud of myself for giving it my best. I am proud of myself for not giving up on my goal. I am proud of myself for showing up today. I am proud of myself for not believing the voice in my head today. 

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